Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
where does the pee come out of this thing
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize