Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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