At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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