Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
