he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize