I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
