South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
