yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize