it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
