I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
