Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
