She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
