I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
