I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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