Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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