Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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