Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
