lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
