i just wanna soil my oats bro
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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