mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize