I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
