he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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