Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
