Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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