I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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