If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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