So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
