At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
