Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
