We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
