We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
