kristin has been a bad kristin
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
