I hope mine doesn't look like that
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
