what day is it and did you see me today?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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