I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
