Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
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