I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
