your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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