Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
