At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
