i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize