shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
