I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
