my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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