Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
