i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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