apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
