Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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