did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I've blown a few things in my day
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize