so that wasnt chicken after all
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
