Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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