There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
