Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
