i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
