tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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