she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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