Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
