just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
