I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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